But when I the other day was trying to pretend I wasn't even there in order to sneak a peak at the different movie magazines at the news stand and suddenly heard a well known voice raise in irritation saying "What do you mean; you don't know the chicken ! ? ! Uncle Long John said she was sure to be anywhere there was anything to read! Why he even met her once inside an Egyptian tomb trying to read the hieroglyphs - because she's a nosy bird, I guess" I did consider if one shouldn't get one's imagination amputated ...
Nosy bird, indeed!
There on the other side of some racks with magazines was a certain pirate, I know ... Captain Jack Sparrow - in all his glory - argueing vehemently with an equally irritated owner of the news stand.
And approaching the pretty pirate from behind was the mall's security guard starting to say "Now look here, my good man .." but quickly taking a step back and ending up on his amble butt when Jack turned against him and said quite clearly "BOO!"
"Jack!" I clucked and grabbed his arm continuing "Will you come here, you wayward drunken sailor. What shall we do with you - any time of day!?!"
I dragged him off as best I could with Jack wanting to tell the news stand owner how grateful he was to him for having found me - or something like that.
Luckily for me the news stand has two doors - one in each end of the long room - so Meepsie could get her tipsy buccaneer out of there without having to get past the now furioous guard.
All the more furious because some of the customer had laughed and clapped delighted when he sat down involuntarily ...
"Well, old Silver was right then" Jack beamed at me as we left the mall and entered out into the bright sunshine. And then he immediately wanted to go inside again groaning and holding a hand over his closed eyes.
... he had a hangover - oh, well, tough luck! Because I wasn't going back inside again and neither was young master Sparrow here if I could help it.
I wanted to be able to come back to that shop again after all without having them call for the police or anything like that at the mere sight of me.
"Come on, Jack!" I said still pulling at his arm "You wanted to talk to me and here I am. But we are not going back again! Savvy! ... as you would have said. Come over here, sweetie. There is some shadow over under this tree. Now - please be a good little pirate and tell me what's up?"
Jack frowned a bit - probably having been called "a good little pirate" lately - but then apparantly decided it didn't matter that much and leaning against the tree tried to explain "Well, Meeps. You see - it's like this ... There I was minding my own business - a bottle of lovely rum - erm - this morning in Tortuga when all of a sudden two big blokes and a couple of smaller guys turned up in front of me just like that. ... you'll probably not believe me, lass - but they literally came out of the blue like ... Well, I don't know. Like doing some conjurer trick or something. There was even a lightning flash and some greenish smoke ... They weren't armed - not that I could see - but I was sitting down on the ground kinda leaning against a tree so it would fall over after the hurricane last week and - and there's five of them ... Three of them - the three smaller ones had clubs and looked like they would like to use them so I thought I better just asked what they wanted ..."
Here Jack stopped his story and started to going through his pockets. Then after a moment looked at me saying plaintively "Hi girl, you don't happen to have some - something to drink? My head is behaving like Will has sat up his forge in there and is very busy hammering out some sword or something ..."
"I think you have had enough drink then" I smiled and took his arm again saying "Come, sweetie. We'll go to my home - there isn't that far and there you can have some coffee. That will also make you think more straight. Saying 'boo' to a guy both bigger and heavier than you - really, Jack!"
"It did work, didn't it, lass!" Jack giggled. But followed me willingly.
Well inside my little house in the woods I had Jack halfway sitting halfway laying on the living room couch while I went next door to the kitchen and made him some coffee so strong the spoon could stand by itself in it. He didn't care much for the taste but seeing my face chocked it down anyway - as a good little pirate *O* And after a moment he started to look decidedly more sober.
"Thanks, lass" he smiled.
Then sat for a bit thinking and looking down into the mug. I was about to ask if he either wanted more or if I perhaps should brew something a bit less strong when he said thoughtfully "I am not sure Silver was right sending me to you and - like this, I mean. I risk making trouble for you so maybe I better get going before that Apollo guy find out I am here at all"
"Apollo?" I repeated sitting up straight "What do you have to do with the Greek god?"
"That was what I was starting to tell you earlier, little bird" Jack said smiling a bit "Those big blokes I was talking about turned out to the Greek gods Apollo and Ares. And they had brought some thugs for good measure although I can't see why those two would need extra muscle ... They claimed they wanted me to pay my dues to the Union of Immortals or else - said my dues were long overdue. Even though I told them I am already a member of the Fictional Fellow's Association. And have paid there. ... guess what, Meeps - they claimed Jack Sparrow is an immortal fictional character ??? Will not be forgotten as long as imaginative humans draw breath. Do you really believe they are right?"
He looked so gorgeous - shy, wondering, pleased and all - that I couldn't help hugging and kissing him uttering a resounding "Yes! Of course I do!"
"Erm - well, yes - no need to get all mushy about it, I am sure, little birdie" Jack sniffed - being a pretty sentimental guy himself in my opinion.
Then added with a big smile "Then those two buggers must be right after all"
A moment later although the sun went away again - I mean; that gorgeous smile disappeared from his lovely face and the frown came back followed by Jack getting up and stating firmly "In any case I am out of here so I won't get them to come here and bother you!"
"No, wait, Jack! Stop!" I urged. Grapping his hand and hanging on.
I am definitely not a strong woman but I am a heavy one and Jack couldn't get anywhere with all those pounds of chick firmly attached to his hand so he sat down again still looking worried but willing enough to listen.
"Wait, Jack" I smiled. "Wait and let me think for a moment. It can't be right you have to pay to two unions. ... and I have never heard of that union for immortals either - must be new. And Apollo and Ares together about a union ... Those two can only agree when it is about bullying somebody and they are definitely NOT the union types anyway. But let me think for a moment though. They might have started a new scam after all ... And even if I can't help I have friends in high - and low - places who might"
"Silver said that if anybody could help it was definitely you. He rumbled something about you messing about with any number of gods and such ..." Jack smiled.
Then went on looking more serious "I wanted our 'dear' chairman in the pirate chapter of FFA to help me out. Perhaps explain to those obnoxious gods that I was already paying to that union ... But our chairman is Hook and he's so hooked on that there crocodile of his and all that that he didn't have the time to tell me the time of day ... Probably couldn't tell me either with his alarm clock inside the crock. So I drifted into the kitchen - lured there by a delightful smell - and there was old Barbecue making lasagna to Garfield and those two said I should go see you, my dear birdie"
I had to giggle thinking of the pirate and the pussycat sharing their favorite passtime - food! Silver making it and the rotund feline eating it.
Then I remember the last time I saw Silver and said "O.K. maybe we should go find my honorary uncle - and father-in-law - he's a lawyer of sorts - and ask him if it's at all legal to actually demand people should be a member of a union and - and pay to it if they don't want to. ... but what if he says you have to - what then? Can you afford that, sweetie?"
"I guess so ..." Jack sighed "I guess I could go plundring a ship or something ... But know what, pet - it is so much like WORK I shudder just to think about it! And - and - well, I just would rather not - at the moment ..."
I thought with a little smile that Jack was way too kind and gentle to be a good pirate - even though he's my good little pirate any day.
But I didn't want to embarress him by saying so so quickly found another excuse for him stating "Not to mention with the terrorist laws we have now a days you risk being taking for such a guy - and that ain't nice. I would rather not having you involved in anything like that" I clucked nervously "As a matter of fact it's a good thing you didn't bring your sword or the police or what do I know might be yelling and screaming "Freeze!" and all that outside right now. I am getting all cold just thinking about it ... All the more reason for us to go find uncle Hermes and ask him what's what!"