The Spirit of - page 18

"I might" Loke said proudly preening himself a bit.
Then looked glum again saying "But then when anything go wrong ... I never forget one time during the Great War - erm, your first World War way back when. I just wanted to borrow a tiny itzy bitzy keg of powder - to blow up the house of my former mistress' husband. You don't go back to a booooring human after having been with me!"
Here I almost clucked aloud thinking about what he might do to Johnny if he just thought about it for a moment!
But I managed to control myself and Loke was so occupied with his own story he didn't notice anything. He's never been a very sensitive guy.
So he went on talking while walking back and forth in front of me. "So there I was about to leave with the keg under my arm when the light suddenly went on and Ares and those two broads he had visiting that evening stood in the door to ammunition depot. The big broad had apparently heard something - a rat, she said. But how was I to know Ares posed as a British colonel calling himself Geoffrey Arthur Forbes-Whitehouse or something like that !?! The god of war was of course all for tying me to the muzzle of a gun - a trick he told me he had learn from the Brits after the Mutiny in India in eighteen hundred and something - so I could try the gun powder first hand, as he sniggered. The broads luckily persuaded him that they should be allowed to punish me instead. Ares knew that was humiliating to let women do it so he agreed. I was just happy that I shouldn't be blown up. Yes, yes, I know I am immortal and wouldn't have died being shot off like that but still ... Do you know how much it hurts getting back together again! ... and what is it with you humans anyway. The barbaric kinds of torture and punishment, you invent! No, I won't even call it barbaric! Barbarians are nice people in general compared to the civilized nations. How invent a punishment like that, I ask you - tie a man to a gun and set it off ... I am amazed that that is not in the Book of Records under "Greatest cruelty"! Or what, Meeps?"
I couldn't quite find an answer to that so instead asked "Ares let a couple of mere ho ... camp followers punish you? What did they do ..."
Loke at first looked like he wasn't about to tell me.
Then did anyway saying "They dragged me out back while Ares stayed inside in the warmth of the house. Then the small blonde kept harping on about how I had to promised them never to do a thing like that again. That I probably didn't understand but that that colonel was rather dangerous and I should give him as wide a berth as possible. If I had to steal because I was hungry she had some money she would give me - for buying food. Here the big woman with the dark hair suddenly interrupted her and said "He knows all that - and isn't hungry, Gabrielle! Just a .. never mind. He's just lucky he met such a sweet person as yourself" Then she kicked my ass - really, really hard - and told me to get lost. Forever, preferably! ... what kind of dynamite does she pack in those boots? I swear it was like being kicked by Athena herself"
Here I started to giggled because Loke had run into Xena and Gabrielle. But before I really got laughing I suddenly sneezed violently two or three times.
Which probably was good too. Loke wouldn't have liked to find out I found it funny he had met the warrior princess with the many skills and her indeed very sweet sidekick.
"Really ... Control yourself!" Loke said backing off "I don't want to catch any of your germs. You know how ill I get when I catch a cold or something"
Yes, I certainly knew he was a very difficult patient.
But aloud I said "I don't think it's ... contagious. Well, did you - get lost?" But that did anger Loke and he grabbed my arm - hard - and shook me saying "Now you'll call Hermes, young lady or I'll ..."
What he wanted to do to me if I didn't call uncle I never found out because at that moment I heard a sound like a very big, very angry wasp. And just as we both turned our heads toward the sound Thor's hammer neatly - and probably very hard - hit Loke between the eyes knocking him out cold.
He was still holding on to my arm so as his legs folded under him I went down with him landing halfway on top of him. The hammer went whirring back to its master which stood with his back to Stonehenge.
"Oh-uh" I thought.
And since Loke's grip on me had slackened as he became unconscious I started to get up and go over to Thor to warm him not to use any more of his magic so close to the standing stones.
I heard Clara say "Ah, good! About time! Now we can go home" And Flora answering "Yes, sister. It is about time. I am so hungry I could eat a horse - or at least a whole bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken"
Cluck? What is it with people!
... erm - I love the fattening delicacies myself *o* Yes? I'm a cannibal *blushes all over*
Anyway *O*
Before I got up though a well known - and well loved - voice yelled "Hi! Let go of my girl, you ..."
So I did get to my feet and saw Johnny jump out of our little flying ship - called Fair Freya - with Jack's sword in his right hand.
Jack was still onboard and hanging on to Johnny's left arm yelling "Will you watch it, boy. That sword is loaded - sharp, I mean. And look - Meeps is on her feet and the guy is still only coming to. Easy, Johnny ... Don't yank me over board! Erm - that bloke with the flying hammer is coming over?"
For once this chicken was fast - very fast! Running very fast straight into Johnny's arms. ... and without being skewered on the sword. Which Jack later claimed was do more to good luck than common sense.
So there we were - Jack and Johnny to the rescue. And Thor too?
Or was he? He look rather angry marching across the Salisbury plain and I heard one of the goats mumble "Ups - our lord and master didn't like to have to leave the buxom blonde he was chatting up at the bodega"
Thor frowned when he looked at me now.
O.K., I thought - so he's still mad at me because I told the world he - accidentally - threw his hammer into the generator running the northern lights smashing it sufficiently to turn off the aurora borealis in the whole of Norway for quite a while ...
But that's what story tellers do - they tell stories ... He *o*
He didn't say anything though. Just reached out a long arm and grabbing a hold around the slender neck of the dragon head in the front of the Fair Freya shook the whole little flying ship so poor Jack fell out - into Johnny and me - so we all ended up in a pile on the ground.
Yes, yes, people can normally not shake a whole ship like that! You are right *o*
But for one thing Thor is a god - and a very strong god too.
And for the other ... The ship is made of thin paper. Albeit paper you can't rip or tear but none the less paper so she weighs nothing and can be folded up and put in a pocket or a purse.
Which was exactly what Thor did now.