Angus' problem *O*

Johnny has been residing there for the last 9½ years *O* (EDITOR: Since about May 1995 *o* ) ... and I haven't seen a krone (Danish coinage) in rent yet? Tshee-hee *o*

When I saw Secret Window a while back I decided that a story telling chicken really ought to have an author as imaginary beau so I tried to persuade my fictional fellow to act and look like Mort Rainey,

And that went well enough when we talk about the look - only to comb your hair in a very blue moon is right up my sweetie's alley *O* But every time my boy got mad at me - and being a wee bit hotheaded and me having wings but not being an angel that was bound to happen - he would suddenly get nervous instead and leave abruptly instead of treating me to all those colourful words and not-all-meant threats I love so much.

Finally I manage to catch him and 'force' the poor little thing into confessing that he was afraid that "Shooter might take over and harm - ulp - or kill you"

Here though in J.M. Barrie was an author right after both our heads - and hearts - so now my imaginary Johnny is playing at being Barrie (though the hair is still Mort's unkempt thatch and he's wearing his own glasses when he can remember where he put them last) and I am loving every minute of it *O*

But ... I am hoping fervently that we will never meet the real J.M. Barrie ... You see we - oh? The man is dead, you say?

Well - yes and no *o* As any good author - Dickens, Shakespeare, Stevenson (who's out in my imaginary kitchen at the moment having a snack with Terry Pratchett and my invented sweetie) and others - Barrie is of course IMMORTAL and as such we might run into him somewhere - somehow ... At some time -o* But I hope not ...

You see - my totally invented boy and I borrowed the car from the movie yesterday (and Porthos, the bear - eh - doggie?) and took it for a spin.

And after having driven a while we decided to stop where a small stream runs out into the sea to have a cozy picnic. ... yes - the real Denmark is covered with snow at the moment, but this was in my imagination and it was a lovely summer weather.

So I sat there knitting and laughing at Johnny romping around with the doggie when I suddenly heard a ticking sound and who would waddle up out of the stream other than captain Hook's 'dear friend' the crocodile.

I am ashamed of it now but I admit I screamed - something like "Cluuuuuck! Johnnyyyyyyyyyyyyy !!!" pretty loudly and Porthos and Johnny came running over at once to see what was wrong.

"What the heck do we do now? I have met several dragons - is crocodiles the same? I mean; can you talk to them ..." Johnny asked yanking me to my feet with one hand while holding on to a surprisingly quiet dog with the other. My sweetie can be very strong sometimes, I must say, because I am not feather weight. ... or rather what's inside my feathers weighs quite a lot - tshe *o*

I didn't know the answer to my baby's sensible question though since the only crocs I have met is Ramses the Crocodile of Rock and queen Cleopatra's spoiled 'holy' crocodiles and they are as 'tame' and friendly as the big doggie on the other side of Johnny.

Thinking that I suddenly notice that Porthos' large tail was wagging like he had just met a old friend and he in general was taking matters very easy so I looked closer at the crocodile. It was just standing there on the grass beside the water not making any threatening sounds or movements - so I asked cautiously (feeling a bit silly talking to a crocodile) "What do you want?"

"I'm sorry - I saw the car and heard Porthos and thought ... I thought I had finally found Barrie so I could ask him to - to ... Oh, forgetaboutit !!!"

Here the croc started to turn away and move back into the water but my fictional fellow - being very sweet (and as curious as I am if not more) - asked hurriedly "Ask him about what? Please tell us - maybe we can help ..."

So Angus - the crocodile told us that was his name ... Maybe his mum ate a Scotchman just before he was hatched - cluck!

Anyway - said Angus told us that he would love to ask Barrie to 'un-imagine' the alarm clock the poor thing had swallowed. "And Hook can get his hand back too for all I care" Angus said sounding disgusted.

"It has brought me nothing but trouble ... The ladies don't want to be with me. They say that the ticking remind them of bombs and ask if I have a stick of dynamite in my pocket ... As if! Crocodiles don't have pockets, do they now ... And if I finally find some broad - sorry, Meeps - lady who doesn't mind that that (here he mumbled something probably not that polite) ... SILLY alarm clock goes off chiming the house down when I am all ready and excited for some action! Erm - sorry again, Meeps"

Angus - being a Victorian crocodile at heart - turned a strange colour in the face and I realized he was blushing because he was talking about his love life in front of a lady.

Johnny did take this seriously enough - although he was also smiling broadly - to say "But that does sound awful, pal - wait a bit ... We do know a very able and also friendly vet not far from here who might be able to help. Would you like us to drive you there so you could talk to him?"

Angus did so off we went - Angus and Porthos sharing the backseat as old pals - to visit with Tristan Farnon. Who shook his pretty head and laughed when he heard about the problem. Finished laughing he did promise though to try to help if Angus was up for an operation.

The crocodile gulped "O-o-operation?" and turned light green with fear. Clearly he wasn't quiet 'up' to that solution.

When we had arrived the airy fairy Puck had been visiting with Tristan and he was still seated at the window sill while we talked so now he suggested while stretching luxuriously "Oh, come on, Chickiepoo! Use your talents, girl !!! YOU can just 'un-imagine' the alarm clock - and Hook's hand if you like - then Angus has no problem in your imagination. And Hook one problem less too by the way"

O.K. ... I must admit I stuck my tongue out at the arch teaser smiling and looking cheeky at me. I was rather irritated with myself for not having thought of that sooner. On the other hand this way we got to see Tristan - and Puck - and that's always lovely.

But having got the idea I did as I was told as a good little birdie and Angus was ever so grateful.

After some more chat and I don't know how many 'buckets' of tea Johnny and I drove Angus back to the stream so he could try his new and improved self out with the crocodile-ladies and one could say my little tale has a happy end *o*

... but I still hope I never meet J.M. Barrie *blushes but looks a bit better doing so than the croc * because I have 'tampered with' his imaginary property - albeit only in my own imagination *o*

EDITOR ENTERING STILL MUNCHING ON A PIECE OF PIZZA FROM THE KITCHEN: Erm, yes - but now also in the imaginations of your readers, baby birdie. Erm - ups - I wasn't that helpful saying that, I guess ... *blushes and looks very much better doing so than Angus and Meeps*